Monday, 7 March 2016

Grammar Nazi Moment!


Bloggers, writers, newspapers and magazines,

please heed my words without your frowns.

Grammar may be your bete noir,

but for me to read your work is, well, quelle horreur!


Please only use capital letters for proper nouns or new sentences,

not wherever you feel like putting them.

Possessives have no apostrophe but plurals do,

Oh learn the difference do!


Kindly don't just shove one in wherever there's an s.

Sibling's, table's, plant's, no; please please please learn the rules!

And learn the differences between there, their and they're,

they're not difficult to master!

Two, to, and too are all different words, not interchangeable,

 the same for your and you're.


Commas and colons were invented for a reason,

If you don't know how to use them, please find out.

Dashes I'm tired of seeing you spout.

Learn that it's "would have" not "would of",

as it is for should have, could have, have had etc etc.

The contraction is 've, never of!


We all make mistakes, I certainly do

(especially in poetry, as you can see).

But if you make your living from writing,

or at least expect other people to read what you write,

please check your grammar (and your spellings).


Spare 5 minutes to proofread before you hit publish,

it so detracts from your writing and even the topic,

spotting error after error after error.

I don't want to read on, I don't want to 'subscribe now!'


Grammar is simple, just learn the rules,

Spelling too is not tricky.

If you're bright enough to write,

you're bright enough to write right.

Please do.




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2 comments :

  1. I totally agree with you! I do have my share of typos, I'm sure, but I'm shocked at the level of illiteracy you find online or around. As a foreigner I don't get it just why is it difficult to distinguish between "there-their-there are" or "bought and brought". Mind boggles. And the apostrophe in the wrong place want me scream sometimes. Like "Dear Mum's", Dear Mum's what?! Unless you have a condition, then it's different of course.

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  2. Quite agree. English is a glorious language and the intricacies and possibilities of it are immense in the right hands. It is so sad to see how dumbed down it has become in recent years. I blame the rise of texting and instant abbreviated speech and am often aghast at typos in newspapers (how much does a proofreader charge these days?) Bad spelling is just lazy and more than one exclamation mark defeats the purpose and is incredibly annoying. Read some Shakespeare and P.G.Wodehouse, revel in their ability to play with language and please respect the words enough to use them correctly.

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