My Weird Kid

My Beautiful, Wonderful Girl

My weird kid is the one barking like a dog in the noisy, busy cafe because it's the only way she can manage to be there,

My weird kid runs and skips and jumps and gallops,

My weird kid is the one screaming like a banshee because her matted hair desperately needs brushing and she can't bear the agony of the needle-like bristles of the brush piercing her skull,

My weird kid climbs and bounces and leaps,

My weird kid is the one holding on to the railings screaming because she doesn't want to leave and doesn't understand that we can come back again,

My weird kid runs terrified from the noise of hand driers and cars,

My weird kid whoops and hollers in the supermarket because the lights, smells and sounds are too overwhelming,

My weird kid can't sit still,

My weird kid wears sandals in winter and woolly hats in summer,

My weird kid is still wearing nappies because she's utterly terrified of being responsible for her own body, and the uncontrollable feelings, and the possibility of accidents.

My weird kid hides under tables, chairs, anything,

My weird kid gets so angry and frustrated by her out-of-control senses and overwhelming feelings that she claws at herself and bangs her head,

My weird kid screams and hoots and yells and makes extraordinary noises,

My weird kid screams and panics because of the paint on her finger, an ant on her leg, some other feeling I can't see,

My weird kid won't go out in the wind or the rain or the cold,

My weird kid needs to control the small things so that she has some control over her life and her out of control feelings and out of sync body,

My weird kid doesn't understand 'later' or 'another time', she only knows now,

My weird kid takes her anger out on me every day, in words and actions, and then feels awful and tells me how much she loves me, and I love her even more back, I take it and take and take it, because she's mine and I understand,

My weird kid is starting to realise she is different, and she hates it,

My weird kid chews my fingers to help her cope,

My weird kid is the one crying because she's not invited to the parties with the other kids,

My weird kid needs to be held tight, curled up in a ball, to make it all a little better,

My weird kid needs to be included, not sidelined,

My weird kid is the one who needs you to understand and to accept, not to stare or criticise or point,

My weird kid is the one with the invisible disability,

My weird kid is only 5 but she is doing her utmost to learn her triggers and find ways to cope,

My weird kid is the one who will talk to any child and make friends in every playground, soft play or park,

My weird kid is intelligent and forthright and sociable and outgoing and incredible,

My weird kid is loved beyond measure and understood here,

My kid isn't weird, she's wonderful,

My kid is perfect, just as she is,

My kid is Lara, just Lara, my perfect girl.

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